The Default is Yes
Most people attend most meetings they are invited to. This is understandable — declining feels aggressive, and the cost of showing up feels low.
But attention is finite. Every hour in an unnecessary meeting is an hour not spent in focus. The cost is real; it just does not appear on an invoice.
A Simple Test
Before accepting any meeting, ask two questions:
- Is my presence required? Not helpful. Not potentially useful. Required — would the meeting fail to achieve its purpose without me?
- Could this be resolved asynchronously? A status update, a decision with three clear options, a document that needs one round of feedback — these are not meetings. They are emails.
If the answer to both questions is "no," you should decline or ask to be removed from future recurring instances.
The Recurring Meeting Trap
Recurring meetings are the most dangerous kind. They were scheduled for a reason that may no longer exist. Audit them quarterly. Cancel the ones where no one can articulate why they still happen.
When to Attend Without Hesitation
- You are the decision-maker
- Live disagreement needs resolving (async makes this worse)
- The meeting is designed to generate options, not status-report them
- A human relationship requires direct contact
What to Do Instead of Declining
If you cannot attend, send a two-sentence written input: what you recommend and what you need to know afterward. This preserves your contribution without costing ninety minutes.